Guilty

So I didn't post on my blog yesterday.  It was a little intentional, you see, yesterday was Day 10 in the hospital and that was my max.  Pre surgery I thought, "5 days should be fine, maybe 7, but no more than 10 days in the hospital."  Not my plan.  So I was a little mad yesterday.  It's hard to blog encouragement when I'm mad. It is getting old going back and forth twice a day to the hospital, the kids miss daddy like crazy though they see him every day.  I feel awful for Dave, he is tired of being sick and tired!  The sweet nurses today offered to find him a room on the other side of the floor so he could see the water (yes, please!).  They have been so good to him, mostly I think because he has been a fantastic patient, but it is still hard.  While most days we are pretty good, there are moments when it's just hard.  And that is okay.  We weren't promised easy.

The Lord gently convicted me today though.  My eyes turned away from Him and onto our circumstances.  Guilty, head bowed and shaking...why is that so easy to do?  You see people say that God doesn't give us more than we can handle.  Well, I've learned the opposite to be true.  God often gives me more than I can handle, and this is what we are living now.  We can't handle this (though I've tried).  God can though.  And really, I'd rather Him deal with all this anyway : )

God does say some things that are true: He will never leave me (Ps 37:28, Heb 13:5), He is my strength (Ps 37:39), He gives wisdom (James 1:5), He loves me (John 3:16, 1 John 4:19), He has a plan for us (Jer 29:11) and so many more promises that are right at our fingertips...

So I'm shaking the dust off of Day 10, and now Day 11 and I'll stop counting.  When Dave's body is ready to come home, it will be time.  So I thought I'd do a little show and tell.  No not the stoma yet (maybe after he has been officially named, there have been some great entries!)  Here are some of the current tubes hooked up to Dave.  That "tree" has liquids (3 kinds) going into his picc line you can see on his arm.  He has to push that beast every time he takes a walk (he went over 4 miles today, that's over 44 laps around the med-surg floor).  The plastic container on the wall gathers green gunk from his stomach through the NG tube in his nose.  He is getting a shot of insulin and blood thinner also.  (Insulin because there is so much sugar in one of those bags and his glucose level is too high, not sure why they don't lower the level of sugar going in, must be a good reason)

So I'll go back to being grateful.  Grateful that the doctor again today said he was pleased with the surgery and there were no traces of cancer, grateful this ileus is common and as Dr. Klatt said "Dave is NOT the special case", grateful my mother-in-law is here to take "shifts" at the hospital, grateful the rest of us are healthy, grateful we get to see Dave every day, grateful for friends that have rallied to bless the socks off of us, grateful for my job and the incredible staff that is supporting me while being gone so much...wow, this is actually easy to do! 

Thanks for quickly turning my heart around Lord...you are good, and that has not changed.  Praying for a good night for Dave and for his body to start working at just the right time, whenever that may be...