Tuesday, January 10, 2017

Hopes For A Granddaughter

This is Eugene Bal Jr., which means there was a Senior and proudly, there is a III.  This is my dad when he was a young and playful boy on Maui.  Today is his second day in heaven. Our second day without him, which of course causes deep reflection on his legacy.

My dad wasn't perfect and his early adult years were a little bumpy.  He was strict and worked a lot.  He was a Colonel in the Air Force and I remember having to say "Yes Sir".  He wasn't all serious either though. We have many pictures of merry Christmases and joyful vacations.  He had a strong work ethic and enjoyed relaxing (a difficult balance I find).

When I was in high school, he received Jesus as Lord of his life and there were some major changes.  He became one of the most tender and compassionate men I have ever known.  He made drastic lifestyle changes that honored God and his family.  He would openly cry when his heart broke for the hurting, the prisoner, the downcast.  He also perfected being stingy and generous all at once.  He bought shoes from Kmart, but would be the first to write a check for a mission trip.

Tutu and Julia
I could go on and on, but for now, I really want to share a letter he wrote. When Julia was born I asked both of my parents to write letters to her.  Hopes that they had for her. My mom had some health struggles at the time, so she chose some very meaningful photos and didn't write very much. My dad though wrote the most beautiful letter I've ever read. This was who he had become and that is one of the reasons I loved him so.  He didn't live in the regrets of the past, but chose to live well the life he had left.  When we shared about him tonight at dinner, this was one of Julia's favorite moments...this letter.

Dear Julia Grace,
I never really spent time with your mom, aunties or uncles like I have with you. I guess I was "too busy". I never really expressed any hopes I had for them either.  Now it's time to change, so here goes:
I hope you learn to dig in the dirt and read books.  I hope you learn to make your own bed and wash the car.  And I really hope nobody gives you a brand new car when you are sixteen.  I hope you have to walk to school with your friend and that you live in a town where you can do it safely.  When you learn to use computers, I hope you learn to add and subtract in your head.  I hope you get teased by your friends when you have your first crush and when you talk back to your mother that you learn what Ivory soap tastes like.  I don't care if you try beer once, but I hope you don't like it.  I sure hope you make time to sit with your Grandpa and I hope you will come to know Jesus a lot sooner than I did. These things I wish for you - tough times and disappointment, hard work and happiness.  To me it's the only way to appreciate life.

     Written with a pen.  Sealed with a kiss.  Tutu

You make know to me the path of life; in Your presence is fullness of joy; 
at your right hand are pleasures forever more.   Psalm 16:11

Sunday, January 1, 2017


Each new year I ask the Lord to give me a verse, or word for the year.  A direction for my spiritual life.  He has been faithful to give me one each time I ask.  

I have a favorite place to sit and meet with the Lord in my house.  I am intentional to be free from distractions (no piles and projects in sight).  It is a small space with a sweet view. This may sound weird, but there is an old rocking chair there in front of where I sit, I imagine the Lord sitting and talking with me. Sometimes I sit quietly, and many times, not so quietly as I pour out my concerns to Him.

Anyway, (see how distracted I can become!) I went to my favorite spot and asked the Lord for my 2017 verse.  He led me through my maze of thoughts and ideas until we stopped at the word - importunity.  It was in the margin of my Bible as I was reading about seeking God.  I looked up the definition and found: shamelessness, persistence, insistence, over-eagerness.  It doesn't sound so noble, sounds annoying actually.  

The only place it is found in the Bible is Luke 11:8
I tell you, even though he will not get up and give him anything because he is his friend, yet because of his persistence he will get up and give him as much as he needs.

Jesus is telling a story. There is this guy and a friend of his comes for a visit and they have no food.  Being that the local grocery store is probably closed, he goes to another friend's house. He bangs on the door and says, "Hey, I need food, a friend has come for a visit and we have nothing".  The home owner says, "It's midnight! Go away, we are already in bed!" This guy is not getting up for any reason.  Yet because of the persistence (or importunity) of this man, the guy gets out of bed and gives him as much as he needs.

This parable has often bothered me, I was raised to be polite.  I would never knock on my neighbor's door insisting he give me food in the middle of the night.  How can it be okay to whine to God about our needs, even if they are for another?  That just isn't how it is done. You figure it out yourself, find another neighbor, look further back in your cupboard, find some other way.

God definitely had my attention here.  I looked up the biblical definition of importunity and found this: if by shameless insistence a favor may be won, even from one unwilling and ungracious, still more surely will God answer the earnest prayer of His people.  God's willingness to give exceeds our ability to ask. The parable teaches by way of contrast, not parallel.

What I found was that in contrast to the irritated home owner, God is a good Father, desiring to give us what we earnestly seek.  We only need to ask, seek, and knock...as the next verse instructs.  And this is where I found my 2017 verse.

And I say to you, ask, and it shall be given to you; seek, and you shall find; knock, and it shall be opened to you.  Luke 11:9

Literally this verse says, keep asking, keep seeking, keep knocking ....shamelessly.  We cannot irritate God by our persistent prayers.  In fact I think He delights in them because He loves us. 

Andrew Murray said, "How all nature has been arranged by God that in sowing and reaping, as in seeking coal or gold, nothing is found without labor and effort."  

And I wonder if that is what prayer is, what prayer does.  The answer to our prayers is not the goal.  The answer is a by-product of a life lived in communion with the Lord.  Prayer brings us to our rightful place, as we humble ourselves, empty ourselves of our own agendas, plans and inadequate solutions. Those things are crucified with Christ, so it is no longer I who live, but Christ in me. We ask, we seek, we knock.  And the door is opened to the way of the Lord.  His plan, His will, His purpose.  His presence. 

So my goal this year? Not to be so polite with God. I will shamelessly, persistently, eagerly, unapologetically...ask, seek, and knock until He answers.  And then I will keep asking, keep seeking, and keep knocking some more.