Today Dave returned a call from the hospital to start all the paperwork they need for us to go down this medical road. Towards the end they informed him they had looked how much our portion of the hospital bill could be and they would like us to pay $550 tomorrow. If we couldn't do that, then a significant portion would be fine. What?! I'm not even going to share the thoughts that streamed through my head, mostly ones that were not so nice. Dave called a social worker we met in the hospital and he assured us we didn't need to pay anything. It is a script they read to try to get people to make a payment up front. We were told we can wait to receive a bill and arrange payments, it will be fine.
As I was driving (I'm thinking that God will be speaking to me lots in the car...) I realized that one year ago we did not have health insurance. Can you even imagine the weight we would carry if we didn't have health insurance? I was overwhelmed once again with the grace and goodness of God and I said "Why Lord?"
Why do You give us good things, why do You care that we have cancer when others are suffering in such greater ways, why do You hold us close, why do You answer our prayers, why do You strengthen us when we are weary, why do You give us a future and hope? Why Lord? It is because He loves us. Oh how He loves you and me....
I admit, the hospital bills and the thought of Dave not working seems daunting, okay overwhelming. But God. He is Jehovah Jireh, our provider. He is our strength and strong tower. He is our helper, our song, our life, our joy, our portion. He has shown Himself faithful to us. He loves us. He loves you. All glory, honor, power to Him.
Pray for us tomorrow (or today...Tuesday), we go in for an ultrasound to take a better look at this beast. Pray for Dave, that he wouldn't experience too much pain. Pray for peace that passes understanding. Pray we would continue to place our trust in the Lord. Thank you so much for coming along side! We love you.
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More Questions Than Answers
On January 1, I shared that I felt by this point in my life I would have "more answers than questions." I also confessed that fe...
Your post reminded me of a song we recently sang at church; by David Crowder Band
ReplyDeletehttp://www.godtube.com/watch/?v=9JM00FNU
He is jealous for me, loves like a hurricane, I am a tree,
Bending beneath the weight of his wind and mercy.
When all of a sudden, I am unaware of these afflictions eclipsed by glory,
And I realize just how beautiful You are,
And how great Your affections are for me.
And oh, how He loves us so
Oh how He loves us,
How He loves us so
He loves us,
Oh how He loves us,
Oh how He loves us,
Oh how He loves.
We are His portion and He is our prize
Drawn to redemption by the grace in His eyes
If grace is an ocean, we're all sinking
So Heaven meets earth like an unforeseen kiss
And my heart turns violently inside of my chest
I don't have time to maintain these regrets
When I think about the way
And oh, how He loves us oh
Oh how He loves us,
How He loves us so
Yeah, He loves us,
Oh how He loves us,
Oh how He loves us,
Oh how He loves..
This is not what I expected from an entry entitled "Why, Lord?". Questioning your situation would be understandable and wouldn't mean that God isn't helping you or working for you. But, these questions are evidence of His amazing work in your lives before cancer and now. Thanks for sharing them. So thankful for God's love for you all!
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