Dr. Johnson and big words

Today we had an appointment with our surgeon, Dr. Michael Johnson.  I figured we would go in say hi, ask how Peru was (he just got married) and be on our happy way.  Not quite how it turned out. 

He had talked with our original Oncologist before he left town.  He was in agreement to do surgery first before treatment.  We told him what our new Oncologist said about radiation/chemo before surgery and the benefits to Dave with this plan.  What we didn't understand (or know) is that with this new plan there is a higher risk of Dave's colon perforating which can cause infection throughout his body, which by the way is really dangerous.  We were also told Dave would need an ileostomy (a temporary colostomy) for longer after surgery than we anticipated.  This also means a second surgery to stick Dave's small intestine back in his body where it belongs (that's in layman's terms).  While there are benefits to doing radiation/chemo now there are also risks, that are new to us.  After a long conversation, Dr. Johnson agrees with Dr. Senecal that we should go ahead with the radiation/chemo.  Then he ends with, "Do the kids understand what is happening?"  I'm thinking, "No, we don't understand it!"  It felt like he wanted our kids to know the seriousness of the situation, but I couldn't really tell.

All that mess (aka the previous paragraph) to say, we felt a little overwhelmed and confused when we left his office.  We drove most of the way home in silence, soaking in what we just heard.  We have another appointment Wednesday with our Oncologist and we will run all this past him to see if he can clear any of it up for us.

A friend of mine shared a "vision" she had of me, this is what she wrote: As I was praying for you, I could see that Jesus was asking you to carry this burden of cancer; this cross of illness, but at the very same time, I saw Him literally holding you in the palm of His hand. He was lifting you up, so that although you bore the burden, it was weightless under the strength of His hand. He was bearing the weight of the burden while holding you up. 

While we continue to feel held in the palm of Christ, today I "felt" the weight of the burden.  My wise friend Niki said this is causing us to lean harder into Him.  We are continuing to trust and be thankful.  We'll let you know how Wednesday goes...