How is Dave?

People keep asking how Dave is doing.  This is a hard question to answer, especially if the response needs to be quick.  I want to say "fine" but that really isn't accurate.  I sometimes wish I had flash cards with facial emotions.  If he was having a good day, I could pull out the smiley face.  If it was a rough night, I could pull out a drowsy, pain-ridden face.  I guess this is hard for me to answer also since I am not the one experiencing the side effects from chemo. 

Dave has been reading some writings from a friend, they are the "laugh out loud" type and they have been a great distraction for Dave.  He read me one a couple nights ago, we were laughing.  Then Dave's jovial mood shifted and in all seriousness he said, "This part is really important, I want you to hear this."  This is what he read:

(a little background, this is in the context of explaining migrains)
"When you tell people you have a headache, keep in mind they likely won’t have any sympathy. Their experience tells them that a headache is a trivial annoyance that goes away with an aspirin. They don’t understand that the ordeal is more akin to having to give live birth to a hippo…out of your eyeballs."

After I was able to relax my eyes from squeezing them tightly shut, Dave explained.  He actually apologized.  He said he often gets frustrated when he tries to explain his pain to me because he knows I don't get it.  This quote (albeit, a little vivid) helped him realize, it's not that I don't get it, it's that I can't get it.  I think it was a relief to both of us.  He can appreciate that I can't fully comprehend and I don't need to feel frustrated in my lack of understanding.

So in my limited understanding this is how Dave has been.  For about the first week after chemo he experiences signs of neuropothy.  His fingers and throat are extremely sensitive to cold, he needs to drink room temperature liquids.  He has dry mouth, though it seems like Bioteen is curbing that irritation.  In general he feels "off", he has some kind of pain just about 24/7.  The one that seems to be the worst though is the burning in his stoma.  (This is his guts coming out of the side of his body into a bag - lovely discription don't you think?)  It especially burns after eating.  He also is generally tired and needs to take frequent breaks. 

He still works everyday, does dishes, laundry and some other chores.  His diet is still restricted to low-fiber (white flour, no fresh veggies, limited fruit).  The doctor said he could introduce more foods, but he is nervous since it is so painful.

Tomorrow morning Dave goes in to get his port accessed and for them to draw blood to make sure he is healthy enough to receive chemo.  Tuesday he goes in for four hours for his treatment then leaves the hospital with a pump attached to his port to receive chemo for the next 48 hours.

This will be round 3 of 8.  Dr. Senecal called him last week and after finding out about Dave's pain, decided to lower the dose of chemo so the side effects won't be as painful...hopefully this works.

So we continue to trust and and try not to be fearful, we rejoice even in our weepy moments and we are thankful in all circumstances.  Hoping you can do the same on your journey...we know we are not alone, thank you for joining us on this road.