Crossroad

Tomorrow is the day.  It feels like our doctors appointments are set at a crossroad, as if the doctors words direct us to move to the right or to the left.  In reality, they are just a voice.  There is only One that leads us on the right path. 

Today's devotional started with these words: "Trust Me by relinquishing control into My hands.  Let go, and recognize that I am God.  This is My world: I made it and I control it.  Yours is a responsive part in the litany of Love.  I search among My children for receptivity to Me."

Since this diagnosis of cancer I have become more acutely aware of just how "out of control" I am.  How in my finite mind could I think that I actually have a semblance of control in directing our lives?   Yes, hard work often pays off...but there are no guarantees.  God's plans are bigger, grander, higher than my own.  I can only see what is right in front of me, He sees the past, present and future.  He knows what I will need in 10, 20, 30 years and is preparing me now for that.  Or maybe this part of the road isn't about me at all (gasp!), I may just be reaping the benefits and keeping Godiva in business.

Whatever the purpose in this season in my life, I desire to have a receptive and grateful heart.  So tonight I will praise Him for the direction our lives will take tomorrow.  We are anticipating our Oncologist will let us know the plan for chemotherapy.  Before surgery he had suggested a 4-6 month time period of some serious, hard hitting chemo, including a port and an IV (and countless doctor/hospital visits).  Dave and I are hoping for a pill-popping remedy. 

And Friday is Dave's test to see if his colon has healed from the radiation and surgery.  I have a great sense of peace about all of this.  God has been so faithful...He has provided for us in so many tangible ways, that I've lost track. Today we took advantage of two gift cards and a friend even hauled away our Christmas tree!  (I don't know that I'll know how to do it all next Christmas, we had so much help this year!) 

I'll let you know tomorrow night what we find out from one of our favorite doctors ever : )  Peace be with you.  (and also with me...)