A Closer Look

We went to Spooner Farms last Friday.  We thought we'd take advantage of a day off of school and officially welcome the fall season in the NW by going to a pumpkin patch.  (We have had an unusual and wonderful fall...sunshine for weeks!  Finally the cold and rain have arrived.  You just can't go to a pumpkin patch without cold weather and boots can you?)  I purpose to have "family time" for many reasons.  First, it is good for us!  But also, I want my children to have memories of the four of us adventuring together.  I can't put my finger on it (or I don't know that it is even right), but besides enjoying the present, I want our kids to have good memories and fun stories of their past.  Anyway, I posted some of our pictures on facebook and thought, wow...we look like a totally normal family. 

I love this picture of this path (shocking, I know)...it made me think of our lives right now a little.  It looks neat and tidy, it's green and growing, there is a path before us.  What you can't see are the black little bugs on the corn or that some of the branches are broken and left limp on the stalk.  You don't notice the grey clouds hanging in the sky.  I'm sure to some our lives look pretty neat and tidy, green and growing.  What you don't see is Dave limping through the cornstalks in pain from his neuropathy, wanting to find every check point so his kids can get a prize.  What you don't feel is the sweat forming on his brow as his heart starts racing with the sense of the rows closing in on him, anxiety taking over his normally steady mind.  We had to practically make a beeline for the truck so he wouldn't totally lose it right there in the middle of giant spiders, wheel barrels, caramel apples and bunnies.  We did make it to the truck and safely home...with two perfect pumpkins. (actual pumpkins, not our kids...they made it too though)  This is what you don't see from facebook photos, or even maybe from seeing us in person.

So I thought I should share a closer look.  Many of you have been asking about Dave and this seems to be about our new normal.  Figuring out the effects of the chemo and how to adjust our lives until another new normal sets in.  Dave is often tired, forgetful, anxious and in pain.  The doctor said this is all typical and not surprising (to him maybe....).  Dave is pressing on though, working hard and trying to make it through the day and looking forward to better days ahead.

I'm very proud of him as this has not been what we expected for 2012.  Psalm 20:7 says, "Some trust in chariots and some in horses, but we trust in the name of the Lord our God."  We can't put our trust in human hands, in treatments and diets, in time lines and deadlines, (though those are good things), but we can put ALL of our trust in the Name of the Lord our God.  So we will trust Him and thank Him for the good, the bad, the normal and difficult. And we can thank Him for family days in the cold and rain and for the memories these days forge.