Dave called tonight crying. What in the world do you do when your husband calls crying. He found out today a friend's dad died Saturday (of colon cancer) and then one of his new waiting room friends from radiation is in ICU and it doesn't look good. It was a hard day emotionally and physically. I'm sure emotions are heightened by the increase in feeling crummy. The last few days have been more difficult on Dave's body. His skin burns and to spare you the details, I'll just say his plumbing is giving him constant discomfort. Food has become something he must eat so his chemo pills don't make him sick. We are seeing the toll this is taking on his body. (Little side note here: About 1/4 of his chest hairs have turned completely white?! Weird)
There are several verses where we are commanded to be strong and take courage. A command? How do you do this when your weakness just pours out until you feel empty? There is only One way:
Psalm 28:7 The LORD is my strength and my shield; My heart trusts in Him, and I am helped; Therefore my heart exults, And with my song I shall thank Him.
Trust. My heart trusts in Him. I have to confess it was easier to trust when this whole cancer thing was a conversation. Now it has become more of a reality. I am still absolutely confident in Him, in fact, I think He is the only place I can find any confidence, any hope...
And here I am again, at this place of dependence and surrender (DL you know just what I mean). It's a difficult lesson to learn, especially through your husband having cancer.
I have to tell you about the goodness of the Lord. In mail today was a beautiful letter from some far away friends. It was filled with a generous gift and sweet words of comfort and friendship. Then we had an incredibly wonderful couple stop by just to check on us, M and M you always light up our days, thank you for loving us through good times and bad, your faithfulness is a reflection of the faithfulness of our Lord. AND my fantabulous niece is here to take care of my family while I go to Texas for the next four days. ...my heart exults... and I thank Him...
So dear friends, Be Strong and Take Courage. I love you!
In case you got weepy reading this blog (since I cried most of it), here is a picture of my children tonight doing a weird, crazy fashion show...they are one of kind.
Dear Nancy,
ReplyDeleteMy heart understands the depth of pain as you walk this road. I have known the fear that crouches at the door of your heart. But I thank God your faith is strong and our God is even stronger. Trust in His great strength to fight this battle for you. He is more than willing.
"But you will not even need to fight. Take your positions; then stand still and watch the Lord’s victory. He is with you. Do not be afraid or discouraged. Go out against them tomorrow, for the Lord is with you!” (2 Chronicles 20:17 NLT)
Prayerful, Karen
As always, John Piper has the right words. Listen to this sermon on John 11 where Piper discusses the fact that God allowing us to suffer so that He can reveal Himself to us shows us that He truly loves us.
ReplyDeletehttp://www.desiringgod.org/resource-library/sermons/jesus-is-the-resurrection-and-the-life?lang=en
Nancy,
ReplyDeleteYou are amazing.. here I am, wanting to encourage you and you are encouraging others... I see Jesus in you clearly. Thank you.. Karen Chapman