Mammogram

So I'll keep this "G" rated since I think my dad will be reading this (hi dad, love you!)...

I had a mammogram today, it's really not as bad as all those awful stories you hear.  Just really awkward!  I called two weeks ago to schedule this annual rite of passage (aging).  The gal asked if I had any pain and I said yes a little (I think I pulled a muscle trying to get rid of some downed limbs in the yard).  She said, "Oh, well then we need to stop right here.  I can't schedule just any normal mammogram, you need a diagnostic bilateral ultrasound mammogram".  Only the best for me!  I asked if I could hang up and call back and say, with my best Barbie impersonation, "no,  I don't have any pain" when asked again.  I felt too guilty, even though I was sure there was nothing wrong, so I agreed to call  my PCP and ask her to give me a referral for this increased torture, special procedure.

So I went in today.  After the imaging was done I was asked to wait to see if the radiologist was satisfied with the images.  They have you sit in a small room with four seats and three walls (don't know why that is important...).  I had that feeling again, that one I get every now and then since Dave's cancer diagnosis.  That one when you are quiet and you think, at any moment now, my world could be turned upside down.  What if she walks back in and says they found a lump?  Would she send me in for a biopsy, how could I fit in all those doctor appointments?  Would this take a year, two, three...out of my life, of my life? 

There are moments when I am acutely aware that I really am not in control of my life.  This was one of those moments.  For some it's a car accident, a death, a pink slip, spilled coffee...I thought, what in the world would I do if I have cancer?  Well, I figured we'd just deal with it, like we've done once before.  Fortunately I didn't wait long and Suzanne came back in and said everything looked great, no worries.  I almost laughed, okay then, that was anticlimactic!

I got out to the car and texted Dave that all was fine.  Then I almost cried.  A wash of relief flooded over me as I finally breathed out.  I think I had held my breath during that whole appointment and hadn't realized it.  I think if we hadn't experienced cancer first hand this last year, I would have put this appointment off for a good year or two.  Of course I'm glad (now) that I went.  So girls, if I can do this so can you!  Early detection...two of my new favorite words...get checked, be proactive with your health, we've got one life to live!  (And then after your mammogram, we can compare stories and laugh hysterically!)