A Taste of Freedom

I tend to react to life.  This can be a good thing.  A car cuts me off at the intersection, I hit the brakes. That is good.  My coffee cup tips and I catch it  before it falls all the way over, very good!  What about when your phone rings while you are driving.  How about a friend sharing an urgent need.  Your child is in trouble...again.  Bad news in the mail. Three projects due the same day.  You have no toilet paper. (okay, that one is fairly urgent)  So many scenarios that need attention right now.

There is a booklet titled, The Tyranny of the Urgent by Charles E. Hummel.  In this he shares, "Your greatest danger is letting the urgent things crowd out the important." How often are we at the mercy of our circumstances?  We see or hear a need and feel we are the only answer, we must take care of it. Hummel also writes, "It is not God who loads us until we bend or crack with an ulcer, nervous breakdown, heart attack, or stroke.  These come from our inner compulsions coupled with the pressure of circumstances." Dear one, this is not how we are meant to live.  We are  meant to live free.

Great, but how do we then live?  I just found out.  Want to know?  Respond.  I think this word just might change my life.  Think about the difference between reacting and responding.  Reacting can lead to thoughtless actions, doing something in our own strength, or doing something meant for another.  We feel trapped, pressured, stressed. Responding means that we still give our attention to the situation, but maybe after a moment of prayer and clarity the Holy Spirit can lead us into the right action.  Then we feel free.

I tested this today.  And I had a taste of freedom.  I was on the phone with my sister (yes, I was driving, but it was on speaker).  We were trying to figure out how to help our parents.  Mom was having a pretty rough day, I won't go into detail but it was definitely feeling urgent.  I said, let me get to where I'm going, pray, and I'll call you back with a decision.  Now typically, my thoughts would have raced...a dozen plans merging and me hoping to grab the right one, feeling trapped, pressured, stressed. Instead of reacting though, I chose to respond.  After I picked up my son and prayed about it, I felt the best thing would be to go by and check on my parents.  This seems small, but by the time the decision was made, my heart was at peace...I was free to do just what was needed.  My heart was filled with compassion and purpose.  If I had given in to reacting, I would have grabbed one of the dozen options, raced to my parents and felt defeated.

Did you notice the difference?  Reacting can lead into a life of almost constant panic depending on the circumstances.  But a life of responding, is a life fully dependent on the Lord's leading, a life of freedom.  Test it yourselves and let me know if we've discovered something great.

It was for freedom that Christ set us free; therefore keep standing firm and do not be subject again to a yoke of slavery.  Galatians 5:1

God is Good (all the time?)

Recently, there have been some favorable answers from God in regard to requests that have been made by some of my fellow believers. Friends have been healed, sickness has been diverted, money supplied, protection given..."God is good" is the frequent response. And He is.  Oh how we rejoice in His goodness toward us!  Yet, what do we say when things don't go as we had hoped?  What about when a child dies, when a job is lost, when healing isn't given yet, when a marriage falls apart, when grief refuses to leave our hearts or when God says "no".  What I've said is: I wish I had a magic wand to take this pain away or I'm sorry God hasn't answered yet.

The thing is...the response to the good news, God is good, is true.  The response we give to bad news is usually false pretense.  Why don't we say "God is good" when someone shares a heartache?  It seems when we are at that point of suffering, hearing truth is all we need, yet it is rarely given.  We are stumped for words and end up saying something ridiculous that we wish we could take back later (or am I the only one??).   I'm not proposing we heartlessly shirk off pain with a "God is still good, get over it" remark.  I just need to remember that God is good no matter my circumstances.  God is good when our hearts are broken.  God is good when this life just doesn't make sense (and boy is that often).  God is good all the time, because all the time...God is good.

When others behave badly to us, it should only stir us up the more heartily to give thanks unto the Lord, because He is good; and when we ourselves are conscious that we are far from being good, we should only the more reverently bless Him that He is good. We must never tolerate an instant’s unbelief as to the goodness of the Lord; whatever else may be questioned, this is absolutely certain, that Jehovah is good; His dispensations may vary, but His nature is always the same. (C. H. Spurgeon).

Path of Least Resistance

We've been talking a little bit about memory loss in our family (not my memory....well, mine, but only to laugh at myself...but in other family members more specifically).  One medical professional told me when someone struggles with short term memory loss it is important for them to continue to try to "find" words and communicate verbally. If we allow our loved one to be isolated or have little conversation, their minds will "wander" and eventually that will become easier than communicating. Our minds naturally tend toward the easiest path.  It was described as the "path of least resistance".

That has really stuck with me, not only as an encouragement to spend time with older people, but also to be patient, resisting interruption, allowing them to find their voice. However, this ended up bridging into my own life.  Do I "default" to what I know, what is easy, what has the "least resistance"?  Yes.  When I'm discouraged, do I pull up my boot straps and walk my way out of the miry muck?  No.  I withdraw, I get lazy, I whine. I take the "easy" way out.

Jesus had some very close friends, they spent time together every day.  They saw some pretty awesome things...they were part of something bigger than life and they thought their destiny was sealed.  But then Jesus died.  Wait, what?  He was supposed to rule, be the next king, they would have positions of authority and power.  When their hopes and dreams were dashed what did they do?  Press on and fight the good fight?  No, they went fishing. (see John 21, basically Simon Peter says, "I'm going fishing", to which the rest reply, "us too".)  It is what they knew, the "path of least resistance".  I'm not a Bible scholar, I don't really know what else anyone expected them to do, but sometimes I think, "Come on disciples, really?  You just go back to your old ways?"  Yup, and I probably would have been the first in the boat.

Sometimes, I believe a new path is being forged for us and maybe it is a rocky, thorny, difficult one.  It is the Lord who leads and I guess as He leads, He clears some of the brush for us, but often times life just isn't easy and the road is hard.  That does not mean it is the wrong road. Scripture is filled with words like: endure, count the cost, persevere, weariness, trials, despair, suffering.  Sounds like a path full of resistance, but maybe not the way you think.  The resistance is from me.  I don't want to be weary, I don't want to struggle through hardship, I don't want to endure, I don't want to grieve.  (whine, whine, whine!)

I've been thinking, the path of least resistance for the believer is the path chosen by the Lord and not one chosen by ourselves. What if we didn't resist His leading, what if we were obedient, what if we chose to be thankful no matter our circumstances?  What if we didn't fall back into our old lives and patterns as the disciples did?  I don't want to resist anymore.  I want to embrace all the Lord has for me, even if the road is long.  Even if it is not the easiest to navigate.  And really, with my memory, I'll forget all the hard stuff and I'll probably have some pretty good stories to tell along the way!

Dear Nancy

 

When we arrived home from our Christmas Eve service this card was waiting in the mail for me.  It was another one of those "shaking my head" moments.  The sermon title that evening: "Joy to the World!", the same sentiment as the front of this card.  

This has been an exhausting and emotional year.  As I sat in that pew, the church dimly lit, the last thing on my mind quite frankly was joy.  I listened with an open heart, asking (begging) God to let me receive the joy of my salvation once more.

We drove home and my heart didn't feel any relief.  And then I opened this card.  I am sharing it because I don't want to forget it and just maybe it will encourage you.

Inside was hand written:

God has many gifts wrapped just for you and waiting under His Tree...all the gift tags have your name on them!  

There's the gift of hope that brings renewed confidence in the truth that you will continue to see the goodness of the LORD in the coming days;

the gift of joy that prevails even when sorrow is deep and despair seems like it's at the door just waiting to come in; 

the gift of peace which brings something beyond your understanding to the chaos of life and gives a quietness to the soul that looks like the lake on a perfectly calm morning; 

the gift of love that shows you that nothing can separate you from God and reminds you that He absolutely and completely adores you. 

And so many more... Untie those ribbons, rip off the paper and enjoy His "presence"!  You are loved.  

A clear reminder that He has given us all we need.  Did you see "joy" tucked  there in the middle?  God answered the cry of this unbelieving heart and I received joy this Christmas Eve.  May the Lord grant you the same sweet relief in the knowledge that He has so many good things just waiting for you to "unwrap".  May your gaze be on the goodness of the Lord and off of the sorrow of this life.  May you live life with JOY each day in 2014.  You are loved!

Grace

I've been thinking a lot about God's grace these days.  Most likely since I sense a great need for it in my life. People sometimes say it is God's grace that has kept them from trials or difficulties.  Yet I wonder if that is how it works?  If our lives are at a point of ease and comfort does that mean we are living under the grace of God?  By all means God has lavishly given His grace to us through the life of His Son Jesus Christ.  Yet I think His grace is displayed most clearly in our struggles.  The author Max Lucado explains it like this, "To discover grace is to discover God's utter devotion to you, His stubborn resolve to give you a cleansing, healing, purging love that lifts the wounded back to their feet."

God's Word says that He gives grace to the afflicted (Proverbs 3:24), the people of Israel that survived the sword found grace in the wilderness (Jeremiah 31:2), Stephen is described as being full of grace and power right before he was stoned to death (Acts 6 and 7).  The apostle Paul tells of this "thorn in his flesh", which he begged God to remove (thorn is translated 'stake'), yet proclaims in 2 Corinthians 12:9, " 'My grace is sufficient for you, for power is perfected in weakness.' Most gladly, therefore, I will rather boast about my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may dwell in me."

I can't say that I completely understand God's grace.  But I do know that as you lean on Jesus in the midst of sorrow, pain, loss, confusion, persecution, you can be sure that God's grace is being poured out on you.  He is displaying His love to a hurting world through His sustaining work in your life.  Keep your eyes fixed on Jesus and your heart open to receive all He has for you...even through, especially through, the most difficult of days.

Who am I?

As best as I can remember, my care for my aunt started about 6 years ago when she had a hip replacement, followed by 3 knee surgeries in a two year time span.  My aunt never married and never had children of her own and has always been an important part of our family.  We have had the privilege of living next door these last 22 years.  It was very convenient to go over to help with a project or to spend a few moments catching up on life.  When she began having surgeries, her needs increased a bit.  Rides to the doctor, clipping the cat's nails, taking out the garbage.  Somehow this progressed to taking care of daily needs, grocery shopping, paying bills, filling prescriptions, picking up spilled blueberries, doing laundry, finding a winter outfit from the guest room closet.  This year was particularly difficult and time consuming, multiple calls to 911, several hospital stays, stitches, scans, nursing homes and moving to assisted living all happened in a 10 month period. Looking back, this year looks quite overwhelming, but I must say, I don't have any regrets for anything I did for and with my aunt.  It was a gift to me, and a joy, to be her caregiver.  My aunt suddenly passed away two weeks ago.  We had the funeral today.  And now I have "grief" to list on my resume of life.

One thing my heart is trying to grasp right now is, "who am I?"  My role as a caregiver has slowly taken over much of my life.  And now that role has been stripped away with a stopping of a heart beat.  I would think a sense of relief would flood my soul at the thought of the emotional and physical freedom I could enjoy.  Yet I feel like a lost child in a large department store at Christmas time.

At the funeral I read Revelation 21:3-6 (or I tried to...pools of tears filled my eyes, which made for great difficulty in seeing the words!).  Verse 5 says, "Behold, I am making all things new."  All things.  My role as caregiver has come to a close and now there is something new for me.  Isaiah 43:19 says, "Behold, I will do something new, now it will spring forth; will you not be aware of it?  I will even make a roadway in the wilderness, rivers in the desert."  I share a name with my aunt and now we both get to share in something new.  Her "new thing" is eternal life with Christ Jesus where there is no death, no mourning, no crying and no pain.  My new thing is yet to be determined.  I do know the Lord has promised a roadway in this wilderness, so I will follow and find that something new.

(I would be remiss if I did not acknowledge that who I am in Christ never changes, I am a child of God.  Yet how our lives twist and turn on this side of heaven can change as quickly as the tide...)

The Fog

My photographically gifted friend Chelle Majeski saw this path and thought of me. I love that I have most of my friends brainwashed, I mean most of my friends understand my passion/obsession with paths.  Looking at this picture, I realized most of the paths I'm drawn to are peaceful: soft ground underfoot, shelter from the hot sun from branches budding with life, and a clearing for walking with ease.  Peaceful.  Inviting.  A refuge.  And maybe this longing in my heart is for a place like this.  

Maybe a more accurate picture of my life these days is the one below.  Fog.  No clear path, just the unknown.  The fog says slow down, be careful...without a compass it is a wild guess which direction you will head. Walk by faith not by sight. I look back at this year and shake my head.  This may have been my most difficult year.  Fog.  My aunt's declining health and countless hospital visits, to her passing just a week ago to Dave's continued chronic pain and deep depression.  It seems every morning is greeted with yet another unknown.    

                                         

The Truth is God is in the midst of the peace and in the midst of the pain. He is the One constant in this turbulent year.  And though I can't see in front of me, I can't see where the road leads, I do know the One that is leading.  The picture above is actually of Julia.  She is doing her morning devotions in the fog.  She sees the one thing that is necessary in the midst of the unknown, to trust the Shepherd that leads beside quiet waters and guides in the paths of righteousness. I have missed blogging, it is my way of wading through these waters of the unknown, so I will write.  Again, this is for me, but if a slice of hope can be given to another - then read on dear one.  You are not alone.

*update 11/16/13 From today's devotional, Jesus Calling, last paragraph
"The fog is a protection for you, calling you back into the present moment.  Although I inhabit all of space and time, you can communicate with Me only here and now.  Someday the fog will no longer be necessary, for you will have learned to keep your focus on Me and on the path just ahead of you."
Wow.