January 1 - Starting Anew

I've been wanting to blog for a long time now.

I have a theory (so many actually...). I think God has created each of us with a longing. A part of us that can only be fulfilled with one thing. For me, I believe that longing is for our Creator, God Himself. We all have tried to fill that longing with all the things of earth, chasing the wind, and while it may temporarily feel good, that desire is left unfulfilled.

Augustine wrote: You have made us for yourself, O Lord, and our heart is restless until it rests in you.

I also think that God created each of us with a way to commune with Him. We each have gifts, strengths, personality types, stories. For me, I connect with God most intimately when I blog. It is a process of working through a situation in my life or a desire to hear His voice or to make sense of a senseless situation. It is a time of worship and searching and resting in Him.

So why have I sat at this computer countless times just staring at that blinking cursor? To only walk away disappointed that the words won't be released from my fingers? When I shared this with someone yesterday, they suggested writing about not being able to write. I dismissed the idea. This morning though, the desire is still so strong, I figured, why not?

Why can't I write?
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Fear
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I don't think I knew that until I just asked myself that question, and waited for the answer...

Fear may be one of the biggest barriers in our longings being unfulfilled. By this age, I figured I would have more answers than questions, my life more "together" than falling apart, more clarity than confusion. What if I don't have anything to say, what if I say something that isn't true, what if my post is riddled with mistakes....what if (fill in the perpetual blank).

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In my office at work is a large dry erase calendar. Each year it quickly gets filled with the details of managing an office. The week before Christmas, I order a new one for the new year. I put it up, and leave it completely blank from Christmas to the new year. I LOVE (like seriously....) having a completely blank calendar on my wall. For some, January 1st is just another day. For me, there is something fresh and hopeful about this day. The old is gone and the new is dawning. There is a clean slate and we can start anew.

How about you? How will you connect with God this year? What is hindering you? Will you take a few minutes now to sit quietly and listen. What is God revealing to you? I'd love to hear what He is telling you for 2020, I know He will meet you as you rest in Him!