Prepare Him Room

Sunday we had about a 4 hour gap in time. When you have a busy life, a gap in time can be like a gift of gold or a black hole. You know what I mean? Plowing through a long to do list feeling so accomplished or completely wasting it sitting on the couch staring at your phone.

I had a choice how to spend those few hours, my list of how they could be filled would have taken that long to write.  I feel like my life is one long undone list right now.  So what thing to cross off the list Sunday?  The first Sunday of Advent. Wouldn't it be nice if I showed you my great advent wreath I created, or to share the wisdom of a beautiful devotion.  No, I spent those precious hours cleaning out our attic.  Really, that hits about #147 on my to do list, but why not randomly select something that definitely could have waited until next summer?

The motivation for this actually came from my son. We had cut down a Christmas tree the day before and didn't have time to put it up when we brought it home. (this sounds like a bad theme in my life...) Sunday we rearranged the living room to create a space for it. We ended up with too much furniture for our small space.  I decided it would be a good idea to get rid of an old love seat that we had taken from my aunt's house when she moved to a nursing home. Daniel would not have it.  He tried every which way to convince us to keep it.  Did I mention it is missing a leg and it is white...who buys white love seats? I was getting slightly exasperated and stopped the conversation.

"We are getting rid of it, we don't need it, it's broken, and doesn't match anything else in our house." I said very matter-of-factly. Then a tear slowly escaped his eye. What in the world, why was he crying over this?

"It was Dee Dee's. I remember going to her house and sitting on this and looking out the window with Maggie (her beloved cat). I don't want to get rid of it." I hugged my son as I realized this was not about a worn out couch.

We have experienced an unusual amount of loss these last few years.  And it takes its toll.

As much as I love to get rid of stuff, he won me over. I couldn't get rid of this tattered sofa. And then the light went on for him, "Let's clean the attic so I can make a hang out room or a music room and put it up there!"

So we went up and grabbed boxes of total random stuff that needed to be tossed. We filled the garbage can with trash and the back of the car with donations. The photo here includes a few of the treasures I still need to sift through!

Some treasures from my attic :)

We ended up taking off the 3 legs that were left on the love seat and carrying it up several flights of stairs.  We spread out the carpet remnant and dusted the cobwebs away.  It's pretty "rustic", the walls aren't finished and the floor under the patch of carpet is plywood.  I have to admit though, it is pretty comfortable. It is a quiet space that Daniel loves...and calls his own.

So why am I telling you this story (besides confessing I have lots of issues)? Since Sunday I can't get the phrase out of my mind:

                   Prepare Him Room

You know the Christmas Carol: Joy to the World! The Lord is come, let earth receive her King. Let every heart prepare Him room and heaven and nature sing.

Just as we prepare our homes to celebrate Christmas, with Christmas trees, lights, and decorations, we also prepare our hearts for Him.

As I think back through these last few years and some difficult moments, I can easily think that I didn't "need" the pain. Just like I didn't think we needed that old sofa. But as we prepared the attic, we noticed a perfect place for my aunt's love seat, it really fits perfectly, like it was made for that space.

And as I reflect on those words, prepare Him room...I see how He has allowed some brokenness into my life.  Some things that just don't seem to belong. If I just look at my hurts, disappointments, grief as items that are worthless, then they are just occupying space in my life, treated as trash. However, if I truly want to prepare room in my heart for the Lord, I can look at these "tattered pieces" of my life with value. In His hands, He can re-purpose my pain for His glory, creating something I can value and share.

Joy to the world! The Lord has come into our lives to take the broken and make something beautiful. May we prepare Him room, room for healing and hope and peace and joy. Clearing away the shame and guilt through His forgiveness. And as He does His work in us and through us, we can sing with all creation and marvel at the wonders of His love.

Perspective

I will lift my eyes to the mountains; from where shall my help come?

My help comes from the LORD, who made heaven and earth.

Psalm 121:1-2

It's a funny thing. Why do we want what we don't have? If we have straight hair, we want curly hair. When it's too hot outside we long for winter. When it has been grey for too many days in a row, summer cannot come soon enough. After we place our order at a restaurant, we want to change our mind as a delicious dish is delivered to the table next to us.

I know many lonely people that long for community, and yet I find myself (one steeped in a great community) longing for some time alone.  I find guilt creeping in as I try to figure out how to escape the beautiful chaos that is my life just for a few moments.  Tonight I took full advantage of a free 45 minutes to be alone. It was glorious and guilt free!

I dropped off the kids at an event and walked one of my favorite paths, Chambers Bay.  Many of you know this route as it is one of your favorites as well. It sits on the shores of Puget Sound, with amazing views of several islands and on a good day the Olympic Mountains.

I asked the Lord to quiet my heart and allow me to hear from Him.  My schedule (or scheduling) doesn't allow for much time to exercise...well, it probably does, I just haven't figured it out.  The point is I don't exercise nearly as much as I'd like or need. This particular walk is a 3 mile circle.  It takes you along the water, up a steep hill, along the road, and then back down to the water.  The hills are challenging when you don't exercise daily!

When I came to the uphill section, I tried to figure out the most effective way to conquer it!  I figured if I just focused on the pavement right in front of my feet that I would not get discouraged by how far I still had to go.  Face down, focus, whatever you do, don't look at the hill!

But then Bebo Norman came on Spotify, with "I Will Lift My Eyes." And this face down plan wasn't cutting it, it was discouraging.  So I listened to my pal Bebo (isn't that a great name?) and lifted my eyes. There was beauty all around, the sky was blue, the trees were green, birds were flying.  It gave me perspective. The shade was a welcome friend on this 90+ degree day.

From my walk today

My journey was so much more enjoyable, the struggle of the hill lost its weight as the scenery became more of my focus. I had a new perspective, a new point of view.  You see where I'm going right?

Our journey with the Lord is similar.  We hit the pavement running in the mornings, nose to grindstone. Our view is narrow, often only "seeing" our own circumstances, our own troubles. If we lift our eyes we gain a new perspective.  We are not alone.  There is more happening in our little corner of the world than we realized.  Yes, there is sadness and trouble, but also joy and beauty!

Are you struggling? In a rut?  Lost perspective?  Lift your eyes.  Look around.  Breathe in. Pause. Breathe out. (Seriously, do it now, it really helps!) Maybe you don't want to see the uphill struggle you are facing. Ignoring it will not make it better...just sayin'. Keep moving forward friend.

Why do we want what we don't have? Maybe it is because we don't realize the greatness and depth of what is ours already. Lift your eyes and see all that is yours.

Hopes For A Granddaughter

This is Eugene Bal Jr., which means there was a Senior and proudly, there is a III.  This is my dad when he was a young and playful boy on Maui.  Today is his second day in heaven. Our second day without him, which of course causes deep reflection on his legacy.

My dad wasn't perfect and his early adult years were a little bumpy.  He was strict and worked a lot.  He was a Colonel in the Air Force and I remember having to say "Yes Sir".  He wasn't all serious either though. We have many pictures of merry Christmases and joyful vacations.  He had a strong work ethic and enjoyed relaxing (a difficult balance I find).

When I was in high school, he received Jesus as Lord of his life and there were some major changes.  He became one of the most tender and compassionate men I have ever known.  He made drastic lifestyle changes that honored God and his family.  He would openly cry when his heart broke for the hurting, the prisoner, the downcast.  He also perfected being stingy and generous all at once.  He bought shoes from Kmart, but would be the first to write a check for a mission trip.

Tutu and Julia

I could go on and on, but for now, I really want to share a letter he wrote. When Julia was born I asked both of my parents to write letters to her.  Hopes that they had for her. My mom had some health struggles at the time, so she chose some very meaningful photos and didn't write very much. My dad though wrote the most beautiful letter I've ever read. This was who he had become and that is one of the reasons I loved him so.  He didn't live in the regrets of the past, but chose to live well the life he had left.  When we shared about him tonight at dinner, this was one of Julia's favorite moments...this letter.

Dear Julia Grace,
I never really spent time with your mom, aunties or uncles like I have with you. I guess I was "too busy". I never really expressed any hopes I had for them either.  Now it's time to change, so here goes:

I hope you learn to dig in the dirt and read books.  I hope you learn to make your own bed and wash the car.  And I really hope nobody gives you a brand new car when you are sixteen.  I hope you have to walk to school with your friend and that you live in a town where you can do it safely.  When you learn to use computers, I hope you learn to add and subtract in your head.  I hope you get teased by your friends when you have your first crush and when you talk back to your mother that you learn what Ivory soap tastes like.  I don't care if you try beer once, but I hope you don't like it.  I sure hope you make time to sit with your Grandpa and I hope you will come to know Jesus a lot sooner than I did. These things I wish for you - tough times and disappointment, hard work and happiness.  To me it's the only way to appreciate life.

     Written with a pen.  Sealed with a kiss.  Tutu

You make know to me the path of life; in Your presence is fullness of joy; 

at your right hand are pleasures forever more.   Psalm 16:11

Importunity

Each new year I ask the Lord to give me a verse, or word for the year.  A direction for my spiritual life.  He has been faithful to give me one each time I ask.  

I have a favorite place to sit and meet with the Lord in my house.  I am intentional to be free from distractions (no piles and projects in sight).  It is a small space with a sweet view. This may sound weird, but there is an old rocking chair there in front of where I sit, I imagine the Lord sitting and talking with me. Sometimes I sit quietly, and many times, not so quietly as I pour out my concerns to Him.

Anyway, (see how distracted I can become!) I went to my favorite spot and asked the Lord for my 2017 verse.  He led me through my maze of thoughts and ideas until we stopped at the word - importunity.  It was in the margin of my Bible as I was reading about seeking God.  I looked up the definition and found: shamelessness, persistence, insistence, over-eagerness.  It doesn't sound so noble, sounds annoying actually.  

The only place it is found in the Bible is Luke 11:8
I tell you, even though he will not get up and give him anything because he is his friend, yet because of his persistence he will get up and give him as much as he needs.

Jesus is telling a story. There is this guy and a friend of his comes for a visit and they have no food.  Being that the local grocery store is probably closed, he goes to another friend's house. He bangs on the door and says, "Hey, I need food, a friend has come for a visit and we have nothing".  The home owner says, "It's midnight! Go away, we are already in bed!" This guy is not getting up for any reason.  Yet because of the persistence (or importunity) of this man, the guy gets out of bed and gives him as much as he needs.

This parable has often bothered me, I was raised to be polite.  I would never knock on my neighbor's door insisting he give me food in the middle of the night.  How can it be okay to whine to God about our needs, even if they are for another?  That just isn't how it is done. You figure it out yourself, find another neighbor, look further back in your cupboard, find some other way.

God definitely had my attention here.  I looked up the biblical definition of importunity and found this: if by shameless insistence a favor may be won, even from one unwilling and ungracious, still more surely will God answer the earnest prayer of His people.  God's willingness to give exceeds our ability to ask. The parable teaches by way of contrast, not parallel.

What I found was that in contrast to the irritated home owner, God is a good Father, desiring to give us what we earnestly seek.  We only need to ask, seek, and knock...as the next verse instructs.  And this is where I found my 2017 verse.

And I say to you, ask, and it shall be given to you; seek, and you shall find; knock, and it shall be opened to you.  Luke 11:9

Literally this verse says, keep asking, keep seeking, keep knocking ....shamelessly.  We cannot irritate God by our persistent prayers.  In fact I think He delights in them because He loves us. 

Andrew Murray said, "How all nature has been arranged by God that in sowing and reaping, as in seeking coal or gold, nothing is found without labor and effort."  

And I wonder if that is what prayer is, what prayer does.  The answer to our prayers is not the goal.  The answer is a by-product of a life lived in communion with the Lord.  Prayer brings us to our rightful place, as we humble ourselves, empty ourselves of our own agendas, plans and inadequate solutions. Those things are crucified with Christ, so it is no longer I who live, but Christ in me. We ask, we seek, we knock.  And the door is opened to the way of the Lord.  His plan, His will, His purpose.  His presence. 

So my goal this year? Not to be so polite with God. I will shamelessly, persistently, eagerly, unapologetically...ask, seek, and knock until He answers.  And then I will keep asking, keep seeking, and keep knocking some more.