Friday, May 6, 2016

To my retreat girls (part B)....

So this is the inside of my refrigerator.  I opened it up this morning and found my vitamins. (Yes, they are gummy.  No, you may not make any comments about the fact that I justify eating candy in the form of vitamins every morning, we all have our weaknesses!)

I had taken them about 30 minutes earlier and I have NO idea how they wound up in my fridge.  I have never put them there before.  Didn't I just say at the retreat how easily we are distracted?  I even said, "Do any of you ever put your phone in the fridge and try to plug in your milk?"

I was wondering why in the world I did this and then I realized I was distracted (and didn't even know it).  I asked the Lord why I was so "worried and bothered". He gently reminded me about yesterday.  I shared with you that I had a burden that I took to the feet of Jesus. Apparently I forgot to leave it there.  I had picked it back up, threw it over my shoulder, and marched on with my day.  Somehow to my surprise it was weighing me down this morning.

I went back to the Lord and gave it to Him again...with tears, this time lots more tears. Why do we so desperately want our own way?  I have some pretty great ideas and it baffles me that the Lord doesn't use them. (please hear the sarcasm!) In His gentle way He asked me how in the world He can make this beautiful if I keep taking it back from Him.  So I find myself back at His feet, giving Him this unmet expectation.  This unrealized dream.  I do believe I told you all that Drawing Near is not easy.  And now I am living it.  Please tell me you struggle too.  Somehow this is easier knowing we are not alone.

I love the truth that God gave us: Drawing Near is an invitation and lifelong pursuit.  It is not something to check off our to do list.  It is about humility and obedience and worship. It is about a relationship with the One who has all we need.  Who is all we need. So I will try this again and see how tomorrow goes.  His mercies are new every morning...good thing, I need them every day!

For from Him and through Him and to Him are all things.  To Him be the glory forever.  Amen
Romans 11:36

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