Thursday, January 22, 2015

Why I Repeat Myself

The other day I was driving the kids to school.  We were running late, so like a responsible citizen, I may have accelerated rather quickly on a long stretch of road. And then this conversation happened: 

Julia: "I think you are going over the speed limit."

Me: (in a great parenting moment and with great wisdom) "If you didn't take so long to get ready this morning we wouldn't be late and I wouldn't need to speed!"

(I know....just shake your head and tell me you've been there...)

Julia: "That doesn't make it right."

Ouch.

Keep in mind, her tone was very respectful and she was calm.  I was bratty and  unkind.  Ugh. (Really, who is the parent here!)  And in that moment I was convicted of my own wrong, but also greatly encouraged that we had been training our kids in the way they should go.

Early on whenever we heard "That's not fair!"  We would remind the kids, our family doesn't do what is fair, we do what is right.  I said this mostly when Julia would irritate Daniel and he would haul off and hit her. I would have to remind him over and over that he could and was expected to do what was right.  (No eye for an eye rule in this house)  I would repeat for the umpteenth time "We don't do what is fair, we do what is right".

This also came up often when we didn't have "equal" amounts of whatever food was popular at the moment .  Or if one got to pick the movie for movie night, or if one got new shoes, etc and etc. Now we only have two kids, so this may make it easier on us...but sometimes the fewer the kids the more they notice?  I don't know.  All I know is that I repeated this phrase often.  Usually the follow up question was then asked, "Does it make it right to do this when treated this way?"  The child's response was usually a "no" with a disappointed head shake.

This day, my great parenting day, was the first time that I noticed that this training had taken root. Did I have some great anointing to speed since Julia made us late?  No.  I had the choice to do what was right, no matter the circumstances.  And I failed.  And if I can be honest here, it was actually me that woke up late (which caused me to wake her up late).  

Why is it in our failures we want to play the blame game?  It's been this way since Adam and Eve. ("It's your/his/her fault") I am grateful that with God we can start fresh. 

So if you feel like you are repeating the same thing over and over again, make sure it is something you want to take root, because it will one day.

1 comment:

  1. LOL! Hits close to home .... "STOP YELLLING!!!!!!" -- I *mumble* (errrrr.. :/ ) to the kids often....

    ReplyDelete

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